The Great De-Floofing of Jaxx: A Husky’s Tale
I went for a grooming on Wednesday June 5th (yeah, it’s taken that long to get to posting the event).
The Fossil, the one who brings me delicious treats and belly rubs, made the appointment. I heard him say “grooming” and “de-shedding” and something about my fur being a “winter wonderland… indoors.” Personally, I think my floof (that’s dog speak for fur – like fluff rhymes with woof) is magnificent, a testament to my Husky heritage. But apparently, it’s also a choking hazard for the vacuum cleaner.
We arrived at Mystical Pawprints Benoni, and the first thing I noticed was the smell. Not the smell of mongoose or stray chickens roaming around, sadly, but a perplexing mix of fancy dog shampoo and… something that smelled suspiciously like clean. My tail gave a tentative wag, just in case there were treats involved, but my nose was on high alert.
Then I met them: Pritchard and Sipho. They had a gleam in their eyes that I’ve only ever seen in my human’s eyes when she’s holding a fresh bag of biltong. I knew then that my furry coat was in for it.
First came the water. Now, I love a good puddle, especially if it’s muddy, but this was different. This was warm, soapy water. Sipho was a master of the lather, working up a bubbly mountain range on my back. I tried to look pathetic, but it’s hard when you’re being scrubbed by people who clearly enjoy making dogs sparkle.
The indignity didn’t end there. They used this contraption that sucked the water right off me. A dryer. My majestic fur was being assaulted by what sounded like a miniature jet engine. I tried to communicate my displeasure with a series of dramatic sighs and a few well-placed shakes that misted them both, but they just laughed! Laughed!
Then Pritchard, bless his cotton socks, started with the brushing and blowing. They actually took turns with the blowing/brushing bit. Even called backup to help when their arms tired. It took over 3 hours to de-floof me!
Oh, the brushing! It felt like a thousand tiny massages, and I almost dozed off. Almost. It’s kinda hard to doze off when looking at humans covered in dog hair. My beautiful husky coat was rapidly being transferred from me to them.
Finally, after what felt like an entire dog year, I was free! And… light. Seriously, I felt like I could float. My fur, which was once a glorious, shedding cloud, was now sleek and shiny. I did a little shake, just to test it out, and barely a single strand fell! It was unsettling, to be honest.
When The Fossil came to pick me up, his eyes went wide. He kept saying “Oh, Jaxx, you look so handsome!” and “I can see the floor again!” I tolerated the compliments, but what really mattered was the car ride home. The windows were down, the wind was in my freshly groomed fur, and I felt ready to conquer the world… or at least find a really good patch of dirt to roll in. Of course, The Fossil wasn’t too happy. He had to vacuum the car to get my shedded fur off the seats, and ceiling, and dashboard.
So, to Pritchard and Sipho at Mystical Pawprints, Benoni, I guess I have to say… thank you. You made me look undeniably dapper, even if you did temporarily strip me of my winter coat in the middle of autumn. Just don’t expect me to like it next time. A Husky’s gotta have his floof, you know? Now, if you’ll excuse me, I think I see a stray chicken. And I’m feeling particularly aerodynamic today.
